I am sick of politics. I do not always want to be on one side or the other, or to be judged as right or wrong by someone else’s political views. It feels irrelevant to me and I don't want to look stupid when I don't know about particular issues. Do I need to care? Do I need to engage? Is it OK to just turn off the news?
Is part of the desire to not engage (or the reluctance to engage) in politics because it takes energy and discipline to gain informed opinions? I don’t want to work at knowing what I believe and why. That’s understandable but also, in the Dad’s opinion, part of your job growing up. The easiest choices are not always the best choices. To be a functioning, contributing adult means you have to put work into it.
Or do you know what you believe but just want to avoid conflict? The Dad can understand that, but, again: the easiest choices are not always the best choices. People have always tended to believe what they believe strongly but we have lost the ability to listen to each other or consider another’s view. Today’s debate is limited to “either you agree with me or you are wrong,” which is not a debate at all. As you go, you will need to do the work, by develop skill in expressing what you are saying, give and take in conversation, and not getting angry when you feel strongly about something.
Neither extreme—ignoring or fixating— is good or healthy. Neither side is all right or all wrong. If you are indiscriminately soaking in the war of politics, particularly in a divisive season, it will change how you think and feel, impact your optimism, take your energy, and steal the enjoyment of life. Conversely, you're not allowed to be a mushroom. Unlike mushrooms, people don’t flourish in the dark— we need to be engaged with our surroundings and aware of what’s going on.
Your age is also a factor: if you're not yet an adult, you don't need to bear the full weight of adult concerns on your shoulders. But you should cultivate some awareness of what's happening in the world, in your country, and probably even more specifically, locally.
Although you can't avoid political conversations if your parents like to debate the finer points of policy over dinner, you can limit your individual consumption of them. Are you searching news stories out? Do you feel pressure to be informed? Is there a particular issue that is always on your mind that causes you to be glued to the news? The Dad would suggest (as he has to The Mom during every election cycle) evaluating how many hours you spending on politics or news in a week. When you feel overwhelmed, it should be a trigger to you to take more control over where, when, and how you interact with whatever activity is bothering you. You may need to simply set a limit on how much time you are spending reading or talking about it. That can even mean explaining to parents, friends, or family that you would like a break from a particular topic for a little while. But you can't sit out the debates entirely.
Your question, which essentially is "Can I avoid something I don't like but that I know is of some importance?" is very relevant, even to most adults. The Dad thinks you have a great opportunity here to practice learning balance, which includes being discriminating about where you take your news, how much you take, and being aware of common topics enough to carry on a conversation.
Admittedly, it's gotten more complex since The Dad first began skimming the front page of the local paper for the news and thinking that was sufficient to take on the world. When The Dad was a kid, he actually had to turn the TV at home on or read a newspaper to get news: you had to make an effort to find it, rather than not having a way to escape it. Also, it was far less editorialized, so there were more facts and less opinions, and it seemed easier to tell which was which. (Plus, there were not so many channels on TV to choose from and no internet to provide real-time feedback from an audience of readers who all consider themselves to be experts.) So, to cut down on all the noise, you must be conscious of the content that you choose to read. That means evaluating the source and authorship of what you’re reading or watching, because most news today has a bias (also called an agenda) which is a set of ideas about the world that is being promoted as though it were a fact so that you come to believe whatever it is that the source wants you to believe).
Another way to filter your news is to pick which issues you put time into learning more about. There are certain issues that seem more important to The Dad, so he follows those ones more closely than ones where he has less stake or doesn’t have a strong opinion. And if you find that you are asked about an issue that you don't understand, treat the topic like any other non-political one: admit that you don't know much about the topic and ask the person talking to you to explain their understanding of it. Politics is not math. There are few provable right or wrong answers and a lot of opinions propounded by advocates cherry-picking data points to prove their point and ignoring any balance. Don't feel like you need to weigh in until you gather more information: no one expects anyone else to know everything about every political event or issue. But a little knowledge is almost always helpful! Search out opposing views, develop the critical thinking needed to sort information from bias, to sort facts from emotion.
As you work on growing into an adult, you will find that you don't get to avoid things that are unpleasant to you. But you don't have to stew in them without control. Things like politics, money management, and estate planning are not necessarily joyful to many people but that doesn't mean that you can, or should, or would be able to, avoid them completely. Just as you have more power and ability to enjoy life if you plan ahead and manage money well, you will be better able to manage the privilege of voting and participating in politics if you have a broad knowledge of the issues and a developed sense of how much time and energy you want to devote to it. At its best, politics allows you to join with others to pursue common goals of how you think society could be improved, or to figure out how a good system can be preserved when others want to change it in ways that they think are better but you don't agree with. As a nice bonus, having a handle on politics is a good way to learn about your own values and priorities.
And remember... as The Dad always says, no matter what happens, even if you are called upon to defend your position on the Fourth Amendment and you don't have a position yet, and you find yourself surrounded by people who can't get enough of the latest political scandal and want to discuss every detail with you...even if all of those things happen and more, they can't eat you!
Not sure The Dad got it right this time? Have something to add? Comment below to let The Dad know!
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